So far the consensus seems to be yes to a potential vlog post, but I've only received three questions so if you have one ... let me know!
Okay, let's rewind a bit all the way back to early November.
I was potentially a little late. We weren't trying at all, but I was going on basically twelve months of baby fever and it was kind of like when I thought I just might be pregnant with Ryan. Once the idea was in my head, the desire to be pregnant rose and rose and rose. I got to thirty-five days, and I definitely felt alive and well and pregnant. We went to dinner with Chris' program and then I pulled the only trick out of my bag and promptly took the boys to CVS and then straight to the Basilica bathroom because I'm the most sentimental person you will ever meet. I was also wearing the yellow sweater I wore when I found out I was Conor's first home. Totally planned.
I was sad. I was, really, very sad. I barely slept that night just waiting to test in the morning. Finally it was four something in the morning, and I deemed that morning enough to try again.
Within the week it was evident that I wasn't pregnant at all. Which was good! We weren't trying. But I was still sad.
I tried to be really on top of charting in November and December, but it was pretty puzzling. Come December 15th, I was late, but I hadn't been able to read any signs of ovulation so I thought it was just that particularly stressful month taking a toll on me. Plus I had been so let down by the previous hopeful surprise that wasn't that I blocked that possibility from my mind.
That afternoon I just felt ... crazy. Immensely emotional. Incredibly sensitive. I lost it about something and then told Chris that I just wanted to cry all the time. I was sitting with my sketchbook on the black counter about to paint since we had just decided that I would open a print shop a few nights (really a few mornings since it was at 4 am or so!) earlier after an all nighter of crunching numbers. Chris tenderly prodded, "Could you be pregnant?"
He went down to hang out with the kids while I basked/sulked in my alone time. The thought "I really have been feeling ... crazy," scrolled around in my head while my paintbrush sat idle. I sat and sat and sat and then got up and walked to our bathroom. I pulled out a pregnancy test, looked at it and thought, "If I really thought this would be positive, I would only take it in the Basilica bathroom." So I took it.
And then I laughed.
I went down and told Chris very seriously that I really wanted to go to Confession at the Basilica. Chris didn't notice the yellow sweater I had swiftly donned. We gathered coats and then stuffed ourselves into the car and trekked to the campus. I was sitting in the back on the driver side so it would be easier for Chris to open the door for me.
When we parked outside, I was about to burst, but I kept thinking, "Just a few more seconds!" Chris opened the door for me, and then started to walk around the car to open the other door for Ryan, but I stopped him and asked him,
"So ... do you think you just opened the door for your two girls or your girl and your boy?"
And then he laughed.
The answer to my question is within reach! What fun.
^^^ Big brother times two blessing himself after we walked in ^^^
^^^ Praying for the fifth soul in our family ^^^
^^^ A new flame. ^^^
^^^ Just exuding with excitement and care ;) ^^^